


Off Kilter

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Dan gets irrationally jealous and upset on a long day that doesn't have him feeling his best to begin with.





	Off Kilter

Dan could be nasty when he was angry. He could use his words as weapons and slice and tear his loved ones to threads. He has ended relationships and friendships and silenced family members from ever speaking to him again with just a few short sentences. Though, that was when his blood ran a lot hotter and his confusion and frustration with his own life fueled the hate and anger that put the power behind his words. Behind that was just the regular old Dan; over thinking and overly caring for the ones that he cherished yet self destructing and self sabotaging all the same.  
It had been years since he felt that anger and ignored the sting of someone he cared for turning away from him in disgust. It had been years but today he woke up with everything off kilter and the universe seemed to create the perfect storm to let his ugly out.  
Part of it was due to the stress of having to be extra social on a day he wanted to hide away from everyone. The other, bigger, part of it was the venue they were to play at initially wanting to move the meet and greet to a different location totally last minute and then the heart faced, golden haired absolute doll of a woman draping herself all over Phil that patched it all up nicely for them saving the day. Phil eating it up wasn't in anyway helping, either.  
“You're my hero!” Phil squealed as he hugged her tight. “Will you join all of us for dinner tonight as a thank you?” His blue eyes stared eagerly into the face of what might as well have been Sarah Michelle Gellar herself. Dan was secure in himself and in their relationship so he kept his annoyance to a dull roar and to himself.  
He put all his effort into not pouting. He wanted to go be a tourist with Phil for dinner. He wanted and needed some alone time together.  
She stayed around to giggle and flip her hair over her shoulder a ridiculous amount of times before leaving them to prepare for the fans they had to go and meet and the show they needed to get ready for.  
The meet and greet and show itself flew past, giving Dan a distraction and feeling of purpose and by the time the show wrapped the heat in his veins had cooled to a dull simmer. He almost felt back to feeling good, or as close as he'd probably get today.  
He turned to smile at Phil and discuss the show like they did every night when that _woman_ popped in front of him and grabbed Phil by the arms.  
“That was so good! You are so funny!” she turned to look at Dan. “I love the way you guys interact with your audience. More shows should be like that!”  
“That's kind of the idea.” Dan heard himself say before immediately feeling like an ass. He could feel Phil's eyes burning into him from behind her.  
“Let's go to dinner! What's the best place around here? You would know best.” Phil smiled his wonderful charming smile at her and the hot sickly anger was back in Dan's stomach.

 

She lead them to a cozy local cafe that they hadn't heard of and Dan sat quietly next to Phil, not really participating in the conversations and mostly letting his mind wander. He wanted to be outside walking hand in hand with Phil looking at the architect and talking so softly they almost couldn't hear each other. It wasn't as though they would be able to do that anyway but that didn't mean he wasn't craving it. The irrational irritation was making his chest tight. He just wanted to leave the restaurant and quietly end their long day.  
“Why don't you show us around? With all those issues earlier we didn't have time to go be tourists!”  
Dan's head spun as he nearly broke his neck turning it towards Phil.  
“It's too late for us to just wander around and get lost.” Phil laughed. “Plus I think dinner isn't enough to repay you for helping us. I can't imagine the chaos that would have caused earlier if you hadn't stepped in.”  
“It's her job.” Was that his own voice? Everyone at the table turned to look at him. The tension was suffocating and he couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable everyone looked. Everybody except for Phil who was looking at him like he was dirt. He was.  
“And” Marianne chimed in “For that we are so thankful!” The crew clapped around the table and resumed the lovely evening they were having with Dan's ghost.  
Phil continued to stare Dan down with the most disappointed expression. The knowledge that Phil was now mad at him made the fire in Dan's belly turn to ice.  
“I would love to.” Ann, or was it Anna, finally chimed in and smiled at them. Her full cheeks were stained a pretty pink color and Dan felt disgusted at himself for putting it there.  
Their boisterous group headed outside. Dan tried to catch Phil's eyes for a silent apology but his gaze was actively avoiding him. Phil's jaw was pulled tight and Dan knew this wasn't a blow over fight. It was a talk about it and draw it out fight and the thought alone almost brought Dan to tears. He didn't have the energy for it.  
“I, uh, think I'm going to head back to the hotel.” He said.  
Marianne looked at him with a pinch of worry between her eyes and nodded.  
Phil turned his head the other way. “See you tomorrow.”  
It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. Dan knew Phil wouldn't want to talk much in front of the group and it wasn't as though he would have stayed if Phil asked him to still come along. He didn't want to go with to be a tourist anymore but he still wanted Phil to want him to come with. The reminder they didn't share a room tonight felt like a low blow and Dan suddenly felt rather hysterical.  
He spun on his heel and started heading back without saying another word, tears pressing against his eyes 

 

Dan finally reached his empty hotel room and couldn't remember much of the walk it took to take him there. He tore his clothes off at the door and hauled his body to the bathroom. His phone felt heavy in his hand. There were no messages of any kind. That wasn't a surprise. He didn't expect there to be but it was just salt in the wound he made himself.  
He wiped his damp eyes and unlocked his phone.  
_“Sorry.”_  
He climbed into the shower and turned the water to hot. He jumped as it rushed out, ice cold and in his face. He put his arms on his knees and face in his arms as it gradually warmed up. He wished he could make himself even smaller. If he could he'd pull his legs as tight as possible before just folding into himself and blipping into thin air. Not forever. Never forever but maybe for tonight.  
Time didn't feel real as the water burned his arms an ugly shade of red before returning to the freezing cold it had started out as. 

Dan finally turned the shower off and pulled a towel around his waist. He unlocked his phone from the counter. Five unread messages. It was now near one in the morning.  
_“We are not doing this through text.”_  
It was curt and to the point. Dan could hear the bitterness in it and wasn't numb enough to not feel the shame wash over him again. Phil promptly contradicted himself in the next text.  
_"You are more professional than what you acted like today Dan. You aren't eighteen it isn't cute anymore."_  
_“You're just going to ignore me now? Seriously?”_  
The next text was simply a frowny face.  
_“Dan I don't want to argue with you over text. Let me in your room?”_  
An hour and a half ago. How long had he been in that shower?  
_“So much for not going to bed mad. Night.”_

It had been an early day. Phil was almost definitely asleep by now. Another spectacular move on Dan's part.  
Dan hadn't felt this badly in months. He wanted his familiar room with all of his familiar things. He really wanted the familiar tall and goofy man he loved to be next to him. He hated not being able to just crawl into their shared bed and whisper apologies. He sent a quick message just asking if he was still awake and waited. 

It wasn't a minute later that there was a light knock on the door. He rushed over and pulled it open.  
“Dan!” Phil quickly shut the door behind him. “You're only in a towel! What are you doing?” He started to laugh but the smile promptly left his face once he looked at Dan's.  
“Hey.” His voice was soft and careful. Like he was approaching an injured animal.  
“Hey don't cry. Come here.”  
When had he started crying? He didn't know. All he knew in that moment was Phil's arms around his too cold back and Phil's chest against his ear, loudly pumping blood in and out of Phil's heart.  
“You're freezing.” Phil murmured. He pulled them over to the still made queen sized bed, never breaking his hold on Dan.  
“Let's get into these blankets.” Dan glanced up. Phil looked worried. He hated making him worry.  
“I'm sorry. I've fucked today up so badly.”  
Phil just shook his head and tugged the blankets around them. He swayed slowly, rocking Dan in his arms. Dan could feel start of the tension bleeding out of him.  
“It was a long day.” Phil finally whispered. “It was a long day but we met so many great people. I still can't believe that painting at that meet and greet was real. I thought it was a photo of you.”  
Dan hummed in agreement. He could feel his body thawing out slowly.  
“Plus I think that was one of the best shows we've done so far this tour. We had some really funny suggestions.”  
He was silent for a few more minutes. Dan was starting to feel heavier. He was beginning to start to feel real again. The fog in his mind was slowly clearing and making way for the cloud of sleep that was settling in his bones. He wasn't totally clear headed yet but it wasn't the type of fog that hid everything else from his view and suffocated him.  
“I didn't realize it was a bad day. I should have. I wasn't paying attention.” Phil added.  
Dan didn't mention the Buffy wannabe. Still, Phil knew him too well.  
“I haven't seen you jealous like that in so many years. I didn't even stop to think why you would feel like that out of the blue after so long.”  
Dan shook his head and pressed it further into Phil's chest.  
“'not your fault. She was nice. I was a dick.” He managed to get out. “It was an extra bad day there wasn't anything you could have done.”  
Phil shushed him and ran his fingers lightly up and down Dan's arm.  
“I hated being out there without you. Making you walk back in some foreign city all by yourself.” He fell silent but Dan could still hear the disappointment Phil felt, only in himself this time.  
Dan turned around in Phil's arms and kissed him gently.  
“Tomorrow will be better. It's a day off. We'll eat something healthy and go for a walk and you can show me all the cool places that she showed you all.”  
Phil smiled and stared into Dan's eyes with an intensity that was nearly too much.  
“You shouldn't be trying to cheer me up it should be the other way around.” Phil whispered.  
“Your plan sounds good” He added after a minute. “ but I think I'll also maybe not have a foreign blond woman squeeze my shoulders every other minute tomorrow.”  
Dan actually laughed and shook his head.  
“You know, Phil, that might not hurt either.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! I decided to try to take a stab at a bit more angst and I am a sucker for jealousy fics so here we are :) 
> 
>  
> 
> It took me a half an hour to name this. Sheesh.
> 
> Yell at me on tumblr:
> 
> tortitabby.tumblr.com


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